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"The Girl
Can't Help It"
By Howie Levy
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 When
we were all in high school together, Lois Rindner was an extremely
popular and beautiful young woman, vibrant, vivacious and yes,
even voluptuous! She sure had "a lot of what they call 'the most'." We
were neighbors as kids, a block away from each other, and I was very fond of her.
Often addressed by her many, many friends, both girls and guys, with
the unique greeting, "Hi, Lo," Lois was active in many school
activities, and she loved her high school experience.
About 40 years
after high school, Lois wrote me and said, "I do remember all of my sorority
sisters. Also, what a great bunch of guys in that school.
...We were so cool, and ... I
loved high school. It was so easy and so much fun (except for Algebra, of
course)."
She signed my yearbook, "For Howie, the coolest of the crew." I
liked that. But, of course, she couldn't help it. "She was born
to please!" And according to her brother, Mark, Lois loved
Little Richard's music! |
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A playful
moment before the camera with some girlfriends (Sue Schlesinger, Gay
Rose, Audrey Schneiderman and Carole Cohen), March 1956 |
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Here are the loving words of Lois'
sister, Sharon (OHS, '61): |
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"My sister, Lois, was one of
the most positive people I’ve known. She always had a smile and an
optimistic spin on any situation.
As a little girl, she would
run around the house singing,
“I’m happy googy!”
She almost never complained. No matter what befell her, she took it
in her stride and made the best of it. She was a student of
metaphysics and ultimately the Kabala and did her best to
incorporate spiritual values into her life as well as passing them
on to others.
"She had many friends throughout her
life, reflecting her popularity in high school. Lois adored her son,
Joshua, and made him the center of her life. He, in turn, loved her
and stood by her in good times and through her long illness. Lois
had a lusty sense of humor and was always ready to laugh. We didn’t
always agree, but she was never judgmental and accepted and loved me
for myself.
"Lois
was not materialistic and lived a simple life, appreciating the
small things. She was always self- confident and was beautiful in
the flesh when she was young and in the spirit as she aged. I wish
she had taken better care of herself and her health. Instead, she
trusted in the universe, accepting the consequences with equanimity.
Her spirited and spiritual being will be missed."
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Lois in her drill team uniform, 1959 |
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And from
their younger brother, Mark (OHS, '65): |
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"Thinking about Lois…
 "Growing up in Oceanside in
the '50s and '60s, Lois was to me what you might call the American
Teenager. She knew guys with cars and boats and who played sports,
she had parties and friends and good grades and seemed to be having
a ball. I remember one day, a guy took Lois and me out on a real
speedboat, one with a steering wheel and upholstered seats, and we
went to Jones Beach and walked around. I remember they treated me
like one of their friends – not so much like a little brother. I
felt really special, and thought life would maybe have some really
cool things in store for me if I could just get a little older, just
a little faster. Lois was five years older than me. It seemed like
an eternity. I’d never catch up.
"One time, a car pulled up
in front of our house on E. Henrietta Avenue and honked the
horn. Everyone looked outside to see what was going on. Apparently,
some of Lois’s friends [boys, of course]
were signaling for her to come out and go
drive somewhere with them. She got up to join them when my father,
Julie. decided to stage an intervention. Any young man who expected
to date or even casually hang out with his daughter had damn well
better park his car, comb his hair, walk up to the house, and ring
the bell! Then Julie would have a few words with the young man and
decide if things were to go forward as planned. On this occasion,
Julie walked out to the car instead of Lois. He leaned into the
driver’s window. I was going nuts. My dad was going get into a fight
right in front of our house. A few minutes passed. Finally, Julie
came back and told Lois it was OK to go do her thing with these boys
today, but the rules had been set. No jumping up at the honk of a
horn! These boys would have to be jumping through some hoops if they
wanted to share the company of a girl so fine as Lois Rindner.
"High school ended for Lois,
but I was still stuck in the mire of junior high. She went on to
attend Hofstra, studied music and drama and was Madeline Kahn’s
understudy in the drama department’s annual play. She also met a guy
and got married. ... But it wasn’t meant to be, and Lois and Jim parted
ways.
"So much time has passed
since those days. Lois returned to Hofstra, and she and I were on
campus the same time for some years. I graduated and moved to
Florida, and eventually, Lois and her boyfriend, Jeffrey Kassover,
moved down also. We had some very good times together. Then, she
left Florida for Providence, Rhode Island, and moved to Redding and then Danbury, Connecticut. Josh was
born in Kingston, New York in 1976. A new stage of Lois’s life was opening. Lois did everything
she could to raise Josh and give him a home and a life. She worked
as a research assistant studying the Shroud of Turin. This fit right
in with her interest in the occult and the spiritual. Josh grew up,
moved to San Antonio, and Lois followed shortly after.
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"The one thing I felt most
strongly was Lois’ love for me and her family. Whenever I called
her, it felt like her world would stop and re-focus on me no matter
what was going on around her. She had the same love in her voice as
I remember my father had when he spoke to me on the phone later in
his life. And when the subject turned to her son, Joshua, a light
came on that seemed to fill her being. She often lamented that he
worked too hard, too many hours. But she was proud of that same work
ethic and of his dedication to his career. And finally, she was very
happy that he and Marisol had found each other and were making a
life together.
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Josh and Sharon,
October 1989 |
"The times we shared in
Oceanside, the family trips in the car, the family circle meetings,
the Seders
at Uncle Louis’ house – Lois, Sharon and me – we were always 'the
kids.' We had lots of laughs.
I
guess it’s only fitting to be sitting here shedding a few tears in
her memory." |
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And according to classmate, Susan Rooder (seen by many as
one Lois' best friends in high school):
"The last time I saw or spoke with Lois was our
high school graduation. Somehow, we lost touch after that. But my
memories prior to that was of a beautiful girl who seemed to have it
all; she was smart, a boy-magnet and was full of energy and very
sweet.
How very sad. At least now, she can rest in peace."
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Following is a series of
mostly undated photos, believed to be roughly in
chronological order: |
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With Sharon (at left) |
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With Josh (at his Bar Mitzvah), October 1989 |
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The
many paths taken
during her life after high school, and the many new
friendships she easily made
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along the way, resulted in Lois
losing virtually all of her high school connections such
that our first three reunion committees were unable locate her for any of our reunions. Finally,
after 40 years of no contact, with the aid of the internet,
I located Lois' younger brother, Mark ('65), in July 2000.
Within one hour of my leaving a message on Mark's answering
machine, I got a call from Lois. She was unable on such short notice to
attend our 40-year reunion that month. But beginning with
that call in 2000, I stayed in contact with her, and
arranged for her to visit me and my wife in Las Vegas for my
60th birthday in 2002. That was the
first, last and only
time I saw Lois since
high school.
It was during that five-day stay that Lois said one of the
nicest, most unforgettable things anybody ever said to me. She said, "Howie,
being here with you is like being with family."
(She was particularly pleased to recall that our fathers,
both gone since the late 1980s, were also friends.) |
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Lois and me at my 60th
birthday party,
October 2002 |
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Sadly, as Sharon
mentioned, our
dear friend, Lois, was sick for many years
before she
passed on. By the time
she came to Vegas to visit me in 2002,
she was in relatively advanced stages of both rheumatoid
arthritis and diabetes and later developed
severe kidney disease. She was
no longer able to travel after that, and although she
loved high school, because of her illness, Lois never got to
attend any of our reunions.
And
for the last year and a half or so prior to
her passing, Lois was largely confined to a nursing
home receiving dialysis treatments three times a
week.
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Lois on her 68th
birthday in 2010 |
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Very few of us
ever saw Lois during the last 50 years of her life, but
for the rest of ours, we will all remember her the
wonderful way she was. We just can't help it. |
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On Wednesday, February 23, 2011, Lois'
remains were brought to the San Antonio
Botanical Gardens by her devoted son, Josh,
and his wife, Marisol.
May God rest her sweet soul in eternal
peace.
Click on
the star at left to view a short video of
those few tranquil moments with nature. |
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Come back to this special memorial page now and then
when you are thinking of Lois or to see if anything
has been added. And
if you would like to add anything about Lois, please write me.
 Classmates
and other visitors are invited to submit material for a special
memorial page like this
for any other
departed classmate. Just e-mail it to me.
Howie
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